Regrets
by MsGodric
Summary: '"Look Barney, I'm not interested in Ted's past and every bad thing he may or may not have done; he probably has his regrets about his actions, and I shouldn't judge him on that. After all, everyone has regrets."' Barney and Tracy have a talk about regrets and the past. Takes place in between chapter 14 and 15 of 'Our Yellow Umbrella'. Barney/Tracy friendship. Ted/Tracy. Enjoy!


A/N: This take place inbetween Chapter 14 and 15 of _'Our Yellow Umbrella'_.. Barney/Tracy friendship, and Ted/Tracy romance... Enjoy!

Regrets

Tracy sat beside Ted in 'the' booth at Maclaren's, awaiting Barney's presence. They had been together about a week, and had decided to to go out for a nice drink alone, when Barney had called them and begged to meet up with them; Robin was meeting up with her Mother, who had stayed in New York for a little while before heading back to Canada, and Barney couldn't stand the idea of a 'Girl's lunch'.

Sighing while on the phone, Ted had agreed, and now their date had been flung out the window, not that Tracy minded much. She liked Barney, and found his company very entertaining, if not slightly inappropriate; she would never tell Ted this, but she actually enjoyed Barney's many stories and understood his love of laser tag. She found that she had a few things in common with the blonde used-to-be-womanizer, which had shocked her. Just little things, things a normal person wouldn't have picked up on. She also found that she understood Barney, and could sense that at times he felt a little insecure, even if he wouldn't admit to it.

The door opened, and Barney walked in, wearing, as usual, a suit. The suit was dark blue, with a lighter shade of blue for the tie, and the colour did suit him.

"Wassup!" He exclaimed, as he slid into the seat opposite them.

"Hey," Ted and Tracy said together, before looking at eachother and blushing. They had spoken at the same time!

"Wow, you're already at _that _faze, smart move bro, _smart move."_

Ted rolled his eyes. "Just because you've never got to _that _faze," he retorted, taking a swig of his beer.

"Whatever bro, I'm married, which is one thing you've _always _wanted, but never got," Barney replied, picking up the glass of scotch Ted had bought him.

"Low move Barnman, _low move," _Ted chuckled, shaking his head.

"Whatever."

Tracy smirked, just watching the two best-friends.

"You think this is funny, McConnell?" Barney asked, looking at her, raising an eyebrow. "Because, you're just as messed up as he is."

"I'm messed up?" Tracy asked, arching her eyebrow in tow. "_You're _the one who interrupted a date."

"This is a date?" Barney said, looking at the two of them. "You brought a girl here, for a _date?"_

Ted took another sip of his drink. "I don't know what you're going on about, _you're _the one who thinks bringing a girl back to your place counts as a 'date'."

"It can count," Tracy replied. "A romantic home-cooked meal by candel-light-"

"Or a Pizza food fight," Ted interrupted. "And anyway, Barney doesn't do dinner.. he takes them straight for dessert."

Barney winked at Tracy, and she rolled her eyes.

"You are so peverted," she sighed.

"Told you."

Ted's phone started ringing, making all three of them jump momentarily. Ted pulled his phone out of his pocket, and examined it, sighing when he saw who it was.

"It's work, I better take this," he muttered, standing up as he answered the phone. He mouthed _'Two seconds' _to them, before turning and walking out the bar door.

Tracy looked away from the door and towards Barney. It was the first time they had been alone since the night they first met six months ago, and a lot had happened since then. Barney was married, Tracy was together with someone else (Barney's best-friend), and she had declined a proposal. Yes, a lot had happened between then and now.

"So McConnell," Barney said, snapping Tracy out of her thoughts.

"Yes?" She asked, not liking the look on Barney's face.

"Have you two banged yet?"

Her face went red. "What?"

"You know, _done the deed," _he replied, grinning.

"I don't see how that is any of your business," Tracy retorted, believing her sex life was a _completely _private matter between her and Ted.

"Oh come on McConnell, I'm just trying to help you out here!" Barney exclaimed.

"Helping me how...?"

"Well, did you know that Ted once dumped a girl when she wouldn't put out? True story."

Tracy shook her head. "I highly doubt that."

"Oh, it's true," Barney said, nodding. "Ted's not the saint you think he is; once, at some Saint Patrick's day party, he snogged a married woman _and _bought drinks on some other guys tab."

Tracy sighed. "Look Barney, I'm not interested in Ted's past and every bad thing he may or _may not _have done; he probably has his regrets about his actions, and I shouldn't judge him on that. After all, everyone has regrets."

Barney took a sip of his drink. "Funny," he said. "Funny."

"What's funny?" She asked, looking at him intently.

"You say everyone has regrets.. Well, I don't."

Tracy frowned for a moment. "You don't have any regrets? Not even one, tinie tiny one?"

Barney thought for a second. "Nope, I'm awesome."

Tracy looked at him. "You're lying," she said simply.

Barney looked at her shocked. "I'm _what?"_

"You're lying," she said again, just as calmly as she had before.

"Pfft, no I'm not."

"Yes you are. I don't believe that you don't have any regrets. Everyone.. everyone regrets atleast one thing. And you do too, but you're.. you're just too afraid to admit it."

"Afraid? I don't get afraid McConnell, I'm the Barnman for crying out loud."

Tracy nodded. "You make yourself believe that Barney, and you think that by believing it, it will make it true. But I know that you regret something.. I can just see it in your eyes."

Barney stared at her. "H-how can you see it?"

"I can just understand people," she said, shrugging. "Sometimes better than they can understand themselves."

"How do you do it?" He asked, bewildered.

"It's just one of my many talents," she replied. "Now tell me, what do you regret?"

"Why should I tell you?" He asked, frowning. "Give me one good reason."

"Because I won't judge you," she told him. "You could confess to a murder, right here, and I would hear you out and not call the cops. After all, what's the chance we're _both_ murderers?"

Barney gulped, casually leaning away from her. "I, um-"

"Barney, I'm kidding, I'm not a murderer," she exclaimed, laughing.

"Right, I knew that," he muttered, leaning forward again, straightening his tie. "I totally knew that."

"So come on, spill; what's your regret?"

"Tell me yours first," he commanded.

Tracy's eyes widened. "W-what?"

"You want me to trust you and I will; if you tell me your regret first."

Tracy knew she couldn't exactly say she didn't have a regret, not when she had insisted for the majority of the conversation that everyone had a regret. She swallowed, knowing that she had to tell him; it had been something she had regretted for nearly eight years, something that she hadn't ever told anyone beside her Mum, not even Ted. Yet, for some reason, she trusted Barney. She felt that it would help him, in some ways, if he heard her regret. So she took a deep breath, and decided to tell him.

"Okay, I'll tell you," she took another breath. "Eight years ago, on my 21st birthday, my boyfriend Max died, which I assume you know."

His face paled. "Wha-? I didn't know- I'm so- Oh my God?"

"Ted didn't tell you?" She whispered, looking at him shocked.

"No, he didn't."

"Wow," she whispered, her feelings for Ted growing even stronger. "Wow."

Barney nodded. "He is a good guy.."

"Yes, well, anyway, as I was saying," she continued. "My boyfriend Max died on my 21st birthday; he was in a cab that was heading towards the bar I was celebrating at, when it happened. The car crashed, and he died almost instantly."

She paused.

"But, the thing is, until that morning, I wasn't even supposed to be going to a bar; me and Max were going to spend the night in together. However, my friend kelly convinced me to go out for the night, saying I only turned 21 once, so I changed the plans; if I hadn't changed the plans, he wouldn't have been heading towards the bar, and he wouldn't.. he wouldn't have died."

Tears had formed in her ears, and she wiped them away instantly. "There, that's my deepest regret."

Barney didn't say anything. He just reached across, and took her hand. No words were spoken for a minute or two, but no words were needed.

"So," she whispered, after a moment. "You're regret?"

"Right," Barney said, shaking his head. "Right. My regret. I, I regret playing out in the field for too long. If.. if someone had told me that, that this beautiful girl was going to meet me and fall in love with me, I.. I would have played to win sooner. I.. I wasted all my life trying to be the perfect womanizer, and complete stupid hopeless, yet not so stupid and hopeless, challenges, when the girl I was supposed to be with was right in front of me the whole time.. I regret hurting her. I regret making her wait. I regret making her see the endless parade of bimbos that I marched past her, because I love her and it was the stupidist thing I ever did. I wasted so much time, and she could have turned away at any minute, but for some reason, she chose me. I just.. I regret making her feel down and low for all those months and years, when I loved her the whole time and did nothing."

Tracy smiled, rubbing her thumb over his hand. "See, doesn't that feel better?"

Barney nodded. "You know what.. It does. For some reason, I can talk to you about, about _anything. _Isn't that weird? I can talk to you and not feel like you're going to laugh at me or yell at me, but like you're really going to try and understand."

"It's what I do," Tracy said.

"Well, you're brilliant at it," he replied, smiling softly. _"Brilliant."_

For a few moments, they sat in silence, neither of them speaking. It was quiet and comfortable, and Tracy was about to say how happy she was they had that discussion, when Barney spoke.

"You know.. you never did answer my question," he said, a twinkle in his eye.

"What question?" She asked.

"You know... _'Have you two banged yet.'"_

Before Tracy could open her mouth, she felt someone plop down next to her.

"Sorry guys, Bluewater can talk forever, _seriously."_

Tracy smiled at Ted, and rested her head on his shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and gently kissed her head.

"Have you two had a nice catch-up?" Ted asked.

Tracy looked straight at Barney, a smile playing on her lips.

"Yes, yes we have."

Only her and Barney knew that she was answering two questions at once.


End file.
